Forumet - Engelska ( Korrekturläsa)

Engelska ( Korrekturläsa)

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Hej

Jag har skrivit en muntlig redogörelse om en text som jag och en klasskamrat har sammafattat. Kan någon kolla grammatiska och liknande fel?
Tack på förhand![smile]

The text we have read deals with something that is more unconventional today than for one hundred years ago. The African- American people were underestimated in American society in that time, not to mention in American’s national sport. African- Americans were not permitted to join in sports, even if they were better than many white people. That was one of many injustices of abilities that appeared for African- Americans.

But this didn’t of course last for ever. One man, who was black and talented in all sports that existed in that time, did a big favour to themselves. He made a big difference in American society.

Jack Roosevelt Robinson is the name of this hero I’m talking about. He was born in 1919 and lived with his 5 fatherless siblings. The mother, Mallie, was very determined to take care of her children and raise them as good people and of course teach them the value of sound, even if it was very difficult she succeeded.

Robinson studied in the University of California in Los Angeles. The fact is that he was the first athlete that competed in the first four sports (football, basketball, baseball and track). But he realized that his education would be of little use so he left school and worked instead. After a couple of years he joined in the U.S. army. And things weren’t easy there either. One time he refused to obey an order to move to the back of the bus, as a consequence he was put on trial for insubordination, but he wasn’t guilty.

After the army, Robinson played for a team in the Negro Leagues. And they were as good as the major league, even better sometimes, but in the eyes of the white people, the Major League was the athletic heroes.

Spana också in:

Byt "American's national sport" till "America's national sport" eller USA's national sport eller US national sport.

Dessutom, vilken sport syftar du på?
I synnerlighet ska du nämna vilken sport Negro Leagues handlar om. Samt att skriva att Major League var endast för vita.

One man, who was black and talented in all sports that existed in that time, did a big favour to themselves
har syftningsproblem. Vem THEMSELVES? Framstår inte ur paragrafen. Jag kan gissa att det är för African Americans, men grammatiskt så vet man inte.

Dessutom ska det vara. "big difference in THE American society"

them the value of sound... Sound vadå? sound education?
isåfall ska det vara "A sound education"

the Major League was the athletic heroes är fel.
Hur kan en Major League vara athletic heroes?
Kanske kan det stå, the players in the Major League WERE the athletic heroes

Lite smågrejer att ändra på:

a hundred years ago är nog bättre än one hundred years ago.

"is the name of this hero "är lite redundant.
Is the hero räcker nog. Man förstår ju att det är hans namn :P

"of course" behöver du inte nämna. och "the fact is" är också onädigt.
Det är inte fel att ha dessa fraser, men det är onödigt.

Istället för One Time kan du ha Once.

He wasn't FOUND guilty. (om han var guilty eller ej på riktigt är en helt annan sak)
myspip:

I synnerlighet ska du nämna vilken sport Negro Leagues handlar om. Samt att skriva att Major League var endast för vita.


Jag glömde skriva dit baseball.[crazy]

myspip:

them the value of sound... Sound vadå? sound education?
isåfall ska det vara "A sound education"


Nej, det var nog inte det jag var ute efter. Jag vill säga att mamman lärde de att få deras röster hörda.
Dream:

join


Jag skulle ha sagt participate.

Dream:

in all sports that existed in that time


Halvfarligt påstående.

Dream:

The mother


His mother skulle låta bättre

Dream:

The fact


Vet faktiskt inte vad jag skulle säga, skulle göra om hela meningen, kanske säga a fact is that...

Dream:

And things weren’t easy there either


När var det svårt innan? Syftar på either...

Dream:

After the army


Om man bara skulle översätta direkt, skulle det bli efter armen. Du kan säga, after his time with the army he....

Vilken klass går du i förresten?[smile]