BTW: Den är på engelska, men det förstod ni nog på namnet.
We lay on the couch in the living room which I guessed was his. The couch was really small and shifted in a dark-black color, I was surprised that we both could fit in it. I guess that if I would have had the courage I would make myself unnecessary big so we both wouldn’t fit, but we did.
Jacob held his muscular arm around me and there were no way for me to remove it. He was too strong and held me so tight, but still so soft and gentle. I could feel his warm breath behind me and I got the chills every time the warmth of his breath touched my skin.
A big plasma TV stood before us and played an episode of Dexter. The TV showed Dexter sitting in his small car, lurking on some bad guy to give him what he deserved. I kind of liked scary shows, even though I knew they weren’t real or sane. But to be honest I didn’t pay much attention, because I knew what would happen’ next. I’d seen the episode a dozen times, but I never got tired of it. But this time I didn’t even look at the screen – my eyes were instead glued to an object that lay around my waist.
Jacob’s arm. His big, perfect sculptured arm and his big cold hand. I knew that I shouldn’t encourage him, but he was so much like his brother, Alexander. Every time he spoke, every time he walked or moved reminded me of the love of my life. I couldn’t help but telling myself that he was him and that it was Alex that lay behind me, breathing in my neck.
Without considering the horrible consequences I lowered my hand down to his. I simply touched his fingers with my fingertips and his hand embraced mine. I felt a shred of warmth spreading through my body, even though his hand was as cold as ice. I shrugged. What was I supposed to do next? Take his other hand? Turn my body against his? Was I supposed to say something?
I gently squeezed his hand, just like Alex used to do with mine. That was one thing that reminded me of that this wasn’t Alex, but everything else was so convincing. His smell, his voice, his body and his blue, seductive, kind and loving eyes. Those dark-blue eyes that made my heart melt.
I could feel his gaze at me and I turned around in the small couch. I was now facing him, our faces as close as possible without any physical contact. His dark-brown hair lay messy on his head, in a stylish kind of way. That was another thing that made it easier for me to depart him and Alex. The fact that Jacob had taken me against my will didn’t acquire to me.
I looked in in his gazing eyes and my heart did melt – like I thought.
Kiss me already! I thought eagerly, lowering my gaze to his lips. His full and beautiful lips, so look-alike Alex’s.
Jacob lowered his head and leaned in to kiss me. I missed Alex’s warm and loving kisses, I could kill for them right now. And being kissed by his brother was pretty much the same thing, wasn’t it? I was so confused with a thousand thoughts running through my mind, but I couldn’t figure out one single answer, except one. That I needed something that reminded me of Alexander, I needed him and he weren’t here. I loved him, my boyfriend, my only love and I had a copy of him right in front of me. It was so confusing—love.
His soft, warm lips gently touched mine and I squeezed his hand even harder than before. Our minds and bodies became one and I kissed him back like I’d never done before. Our bodies seemed to know exactly what the other one would do and we followed each other, surrounded by love. My mind flowed away and I felt like I was levitating right there, on the couch.
I lay my free hand on his cheek, gently ruffling his messy hair and then lowered it back to his cheek. He was so perfect, just as I remembered my Alexander. He held his big hand on my back like he was never going to let me go, like he loved me and only med and like I was the only one in his world right now in this moment. That was what I felt. Alex was all I could think about right now, his blond hair, blue eyes and soft lips that kissed mine.
We let go of each other after what seemed like the longest and the best minute of my life and gazed into each other’s eyes. His was filled with love, softness and he looked so sexy with the dark sky behind him and the moon shining through the big slide-doors.
He leaned back onto me and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek before he worked his way down to my neck. He gave me several soft kisses before I felt something that was a little bit harder than his lips. He touched my skin with his teeth and breathed in my fragrance. I felt the sharp edges of his teeth and I knew that he was about to do what he had planned all along. I had pushed it aside, the truth because I wanted him to be Alexander so bad. But he wasn’t.
I knew that if a pushed him away, started to panic and tried to flee, I would fail. I was forced to take it easy in order not to make him worried that this was not what I wanted. I had to make him believe that I wanted this, that I wanted him to bite me and that I just wanted to take it slow. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t call for help. All I could do was to talk, which was exactly what I planned to do.
´´How do I smell to you?´´ I asked him as I gently pushed him away with my hands on his muscular chest. He kept kissing me on the neck, ignoring my question. I pushed him further back and now he had to look me in the eyes. But even then he didn’t stop but he leaned in and tried to kiss me again. I wanted to return his kiss, I wanted to feel the passion again and his soft lips against mine. But instead I turned him my cheek and got a soft kiss there instead.
Like our bodies were connected we both lay down in the couch again with our faces against the TV. His hand slid up from my knee, gently fondling past my thigh, up to my hips and then finally he stopped at my neck. I tried to look busy by watching Dexter – which now by the way was at that scene when he cuts the guys throat off in the boxing circle simply because he’s too tired and his wife needs him to pick up medicine for their baby.
He seductively stroked the hair from my neck and leaned in. I could feel his breath on my skin and his cold fingers playing. I could hear his every breath – breathing in, breathing out.
Then, once again, his lips touched my neck and started kissing again. I didn’t want to stop him; I wanted it to last forever. I wanted to kiss him, hold him and share my every emotion with him. I wanted Alexander. But he was Jacob. Or was he? He felt like Alex, kissed like Alex, touched me like Alex and smelled like him. Why wouldn’t it be him then? Nor Romeo nor Edward could ever make me feel like Alexander did. Alexander’s way of making me feel was beyond everything – and I knew that even if I were Julia or Bella, their feelings for their men couldn’t compare to mine.
But this man behind me confused me. He confused me as much as only one man had ever done before. Sackarias. My first boyfriend and my first love. I had been forced to make a choice between him and Alex and my heart had leaded me to the right one. I was happy with Alex and didn’t have any doubt about my choice. And even if I loved Sackarias, I loved Alex like crazy.
´´How do I smell to you?´´ I repeated in a vague whisper. It was like I couldn’t speak any louder but that exact whisper. His kissing distracted me, made me slack and light-headed. I had to keep talking to him to distract him from biting me, but he didn’t seem to be distracted at all.
He kept not-answering-me and it felt like I should be irritated, but I wasn’t. It was like I couldn’t be, I was too happy. With my Alexander, kissing my neck and holding my waist. His cold, cold hands touching me gently and lovingly. No, he wasn’t Alex. I had to stop Imagineering that and realize what was going on.
I turned my whole body to confront him. I looked up in his dark-blue eyes and he took a deep breath.
´´You smell like—´´, he started and shut his eyes. ´´sweet things. Flowers like Roses, Tulip, Daisies and Hepatica.´´ He took another breath and smiled. ´´And candy, a very tempting candy. Extremely hard to resist´´, he said with a cute smirk. I smiled back at him, trying hard to resist not tell him that he also was a very good-looking candy that was hard to resist.
´´How do human blood taste?´´ I asked him to keep the conversation going. I don’t know what I was expecting to happened. I knew that if no one came to my rescue, I’d have to escape all by myself by foot, and that was a doomed idea.
´´You’ve never tasted?´´ he asked, clearly surprised.
I shook my head.
´´No´´, I lied.
´´It tastes much better than animal, that’s for sure.´´ He gazed back at the TV, but quickly let it go to look at me again. ´´You’re a much better view´´, he explained, smiling.
´´Do you want to taste my blood?´´ I asked. A part of me didn’t want an answer to my obvious question while another part already knew the answer.
´´I want it so bad that you have no idea´´, he answered me with a sigh. I had an idea of how bad you could want blood, but he didn’t know that. Another proof that he wasn’t Alexander. Just another argument that he was the one I should run from, not the one to kiss and to cuddle with.
I couldn’t hold back anymore, he was so alike with Alex. All I could see was his eyes, those dark-blue eyes that seductively gazed at me. All his flaws that made him not Alex suddenly disappeared and my Prins lay before me.
Now it was I who leaned in and kissed him, desirous and thirsty for his kisses. Those kisses who made me giddy and slack, those kisses that I loved so badly. Our lips met and it was like we bonded again. His lips were as soft as before and it was a cozy kiss that made my knees weak – even though I lay down.
Our lips suddenly departed and he looked at me, eagerly. I opened my eyes, taken by the moment and filled with warmth. He opened his mouth, revealed his sharp teeth and bent his neck to dig his teeth into mine.
´´Wait—´´, I said, pushing him back. He sighed. ´´How bad do you really want me?´´ I asked.
´´Really bad´´, he said, once again leaning in to bite my neck. I pushed him back again.
´´What now?´´ he asked, obviously annoyed. ´´I thought you wanted this.´´
I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a long, warm kiss. He closed his eyes – like I did – and returned the kiss with the same passion I had.
´´I do. I just thought it would be more romantic if we did it outside, in the moonlight. Don’t you think?´´ I suggested and looked at him with innocent eyes.
He laughed and with a smile on his face he wrapped his arm around me and carried me outside. The air was chilly so I moved closer to him, but it didn’t do much difference since he too was cold.
The moonlights bright light surrounded us and made him look really pale – even paler than before. I had my chance now, to run before he bit me and I was his for eternity. Before we were connected and bonded forever. But yet I still couldn’t stop thinking about how hot and hansom he was. Why would I want to run away from something as hot as him? That’s just crazy, right? The image of him being Alexander was gone now, and I finally realized what I’d done. How could I’ve done that?! How couldn’t I have realized what was going on and that there was a difference between them? I was a big idiot.
A dark, empty feeling came creeping over me, making me feel worthless. Considering what I’ve done, maybe I was.
Jacob put me down on the ground, gazing me as if he had never seen anything more beautiful. It made me feel warm inside, but still not good. This wasn’t OK.
I seductively removed my hair from my neck and threw my head backwards showing him my neck. Jacob gently kissed me on the neck several times before he revealed his teeth to me and smiled.
´´Can I touch them?´´ I asked. He nodded and I carefully reach out with my hand to his mouth. With my fingertip I touched the sharpest part of his teeth and got amazed of how sharp they really were. That gotta hurt, I thought. I caught myself making a face and immediately wiped it off.
He leaned in – his face strikingly beautiful in the moonlight and the dark sky – and kissed me. That was the first time I had ever kissed a man with his fangs out, and so sharp. I was careful not to get carried away and sting myself on his fangs. I had to kiss him when he wanted to, every single time before the bite. If I showed him anything that proofed that I didn’t want him he would understand and the bite would probably hurt more than it should. And I wouldn’t even have had an chance to flee.
´´Are du ready, my love?´´ he asked respectfully and I saw a trace of eager in his eyes. I nodded. He leaned onto my neck and I could feel his soft and full lips against my skin. Was I able to run from this? Did I make the right choice or was the right thing to do to stay? I felt the sharp edges of his fangs against my skin and that’s when I made my choice.
With all my might I pushed him away and started running out, against the moon. We had stood on a porch and the view had been a dark field with grass. At least that was what my night-vision-eyes saw and when I got out in the so-called grass, I was proofed wrong. It was a morass.
My feet sank deep down in the watery grass tussocks and made it difficult to run. The ground was uneven and fitful and I was close to fall several times. Where was he? Was he already after me? Were he behind me, struggling to run like I was or did he stand somewhere just looking at me, amused? I hated the thought of him watching me while I was running from him, but I hated the thought even more to be chased after. In front of me approached a big, dark forest. If I only could find my way into the trees before he found me. Then I would be least more safe than in a field like this with nowhere to hide.
Then I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and I stopped. I froze to ice and a cold shiver ran down my spine.
´´I thought that was what you wanted´´, Jacob said with wounded eyes. What was my plan now? Trying to break free? Keep running and hoping for the best? No, if I wanted to live I had to do what I didn’t want to.
´´I’m so sorry, I don’t know what got into me—´´, I explained to him with moist eyes. Mist had now spread its way from the cold ground and up to our feet. Moonlight, night and mist, the perfect night to be bitten for the first time.
´´Save it´´, he said with an ice cold voice. I took a step closer to him, knowing that he couldn’t resist me. Not with the way he’d treated me before.
´´I don’t want to save it. I want this moment with you, right here right now.´´ My voice was shaky but my words were sensational. He looked up at me, eyes uncertain and hurt. I’d hurt him by running away from him and it made my heart ache because it felt like I was hurting Alex. And I was, I just couldn’t realize how yet.
I took his hands in mine and started to lead him to a big grass tussock that we both could lay in without getting all wet. When I got there I sat down, seductively leading him down with me. He followed – still with the wounded eyes – and I put his hand on my hips and enveloped my hands around his neck. I gazed into his eyes and he gazed into mine, everything was perfect.
I fondled his cheek with my right hand and without being able to wait anymore he leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back – filled with passion as we embraced each other.
The kissing continued as his hand caressed my hair, my face, my hips and curves and gently fondling my neck. I held my hand around his neck, holding his hair and touching his muscular chest. There was nothing about this moment that wasn’t perfect. His kissing was soft, gentle but still filled with danger and roughness. I loved it.
Leading me, he slowly brought me down with him to the ground. He now lay over me, kissing my neck and cheek and nibbling my ear lobe. I giggled. He held my hands pushed to the ground – our fingers tightly clenched together. His kisses tickled me and made me feel warm inside like so many times before. I turned my head to interrupt him kissing my neck – searching for his lips. I found them – warm and full – and they kissed me. I was in heaven, a place I’d been several times before. Heaven was in heaven.
Eager I unclenched our hands and rolled him over so I was on top. We still kissed and I now unbuttoned his black shirt to come in contact with some skin.
His chest was muscular and I ran my fingers up and down – toughing his every muscle. He rolled me over again and once again he was on top, forcing my hands down with our fingers once again clenched together.
´´You will now be mine forever´´, he whispered in my ear, fondling my hair. I exposed my neck to him and gazed up at the moon.
´´I will be yours forever, and you will be mine´´.
He leaned in and sunk his sharp teeth into my neck.